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Not a fan of Cracked, but this is good.

deathcorefuriosa 2 years ago

Imagine if they made one for stores at the mall...
JCPenney: We still exist somehow!
Victoria's Secret: Now you know why every high school girl in America has some clothing item that says "PINK" on it!
Hot Topic: Metal tees? Nah! Just a store with anime junk, Harry Potter crap, Disney stuff for some reason, and every Funko Pop figurine imaginable! (Or an alternative, shorter slogan: One part Tumblr, one part comic book shop)
Spencer's: Rick and Morty: The Store (and we also have Bob Ross merch!)
FYE: Weeaboo's Paradise (or a slightly brighter Hot Topic)
Gamestop: Sell your $30 game, we'll give you $2!
Macy's: We're better than JCPenney!
Sbarro: Cardboard disguised as pizza